Can a Heart Really Divide Love?

I am a nervous pregnant woman - I realize how fragile the whole process of cell division is and it makes me nervous. I get more anxious than excited when I have ultrasounds done and I sit by the phone waiting to get my results back when I have screenings done. The whole experience is stressful to me.


However, when I got pregnant with Dominic the thing that worried me the most was whether I could love another baby as much as I love Natalie. Could I really divide my love between the two children? I have often heard people say, when speaking of their children, "I love them all equally, but in different ways". Would this be true for me?

The simple answer I have found is 'No'. I have found that it is impossible to divide up my love amongst Dominic and Natalie. I love both of them with all my heart with the sort of love that only a parent can truly understand. The sort of love where I get sick and tearful at the mere thought of anything bad happening to them, the sort of love where I would not hesitate to tear apart anybody who harmed them. The sort of love where I think about them before I sleep, when I wake (because they are usually the ones waking me) and before I make any decision, be it big or small.

Do I love them differently? Absolutely not. I like different character traits in each of them but my overall love for them is the same. They both drive me crazy sometimes and they both make me laugh. They are both silly, mischievous and beautiful. My body built them and sustained/will sustain them for their first year of life - I find that so incredible and amazing. They are truly my greatest craft work....and I must give kudos to my husband for his small, yet essential, contribution ;-)

Natalie adores her little brother, she often tries to pick him up and play with him. If he cries she says "uh-oh" and takes him a pacifier or a clean diaper. She kisses him and hugs him and not once has she acted nasty toward him. Several weeks back I had both kids downstairs and I was changing Dominic's diaper. I had to run upstairs to get him some new clothes so I asked Natalie to look after her brother while I was gone. When I came back down he was covered in cocoa butter! This morning I caught her putting make-up on his head and trying to comb his non-existent hair. As if the poor boy didn't have enough marks on his face!

I was so worried she would be jealous of her little brother but that sweet little girl has done nothing but welcome him with big open arms and a big smile. I am so excited for them to grow up together and  despite it being difficult for the first few weeks, I couldn't be happier that we chose to have our babies close in age.