Living in Paranoia

You know that expression "Some days your the pigeon and other days your the statue"? Well today I definitely feel like the statue. I don't get down very often, but the uncertainty of Dominic's medical condition is starting to wear on me. The past week he has been crying a lot. Nothing I do seems to console him. He cries while feeding and often throws up during and after feeds. His voice is often hoarse and he sounds congested. Classic acid reflux symptoms.

Of course my first instinct was to take him to the doctor and have him put on medication, but I decided to do a bit of research before resorting to pharmaceuticals. Everything I read said that unless there is a failure to thrive, excessive crying or the acid reflux is causing feeding issues it is best not to medicate an infant under 12 months and to try and solve the problem with positioning and changing the mother's diet. Yesterday that seemed like a good idea, but after another day of inconsolable crying regardless of positioning I decided to take him to the doctor. She said his symptoms could be one of two things - severe acid reflux or a lactose intolerance. She prescribed an acid neutralizer to see if there is any improvement in his condition and if that does not alleviate his symptoms then I need to cut all dairy out of my diet - quite a feat for a vegetarian.


When I took the prescription to the pharmacy, the pharmacist asked for my date of birth. I told her the day and year, 1979, to which she said "1969, ok m'am". What the?? I know I have been under stress the past few days, but seriously, do I look 41? Yep, I'm definitely the statue today.

To top off my week Dominic's foot has been shaking - much like a dog's leg when you tickle it's belly. It doesn't happen for long periods of time, and it seems to mostly be due to positioning and pushing on certain nerves, but with the fear of seizures constantly hanging over my head this has been worrying me. I googled "infant shaking foot" and read a few threads where people have had similar experiences, but I decided to contact the neurologist to see if this is normal infant behavior or if I need to be concerned. I'm waiting for his response. I feel like I am becoming neurotic and stressing over every "unusual" movement Dominic makes. It's exhausting and I have another 8 months of this before we can get his MRI done. *sigh*

I really hope this acid neutralizer helps so that Dominic can be a happy little man again. It's so sad and frustrating to have a baby who cannot be consoled, and it breaks my heart that he is in so much pain. Hopefully when he feels better he will let me put him down sometimes so I can do things with Natalie because up until now he has been held by me, or in a baby bjorn, 22-23 hours a day.

And maybe tomorrow I'll be the pigeon!